The connected lives we live

This column is about a teacher, a husband, two mothers and a high school senior.

Their lives were connected, but they didn’t even know it.

For the last 33 years, I have been friends with a woman who I believe is one of the finest teachers to ever work at Stanwood High School – Brenda Taylor.

When Brenda closes the door to her classroom, she’s all business, but she teaches with knowledge, compassion, and just plain grace. There’s no other way to describe it.

She was hired as an English/ reading teacher in the beginning, but many years ago, transferred to the history department, teaching contemporary world problems, civics and economics to high school seniors.

Brenda and I have been good friends since the day she was hired.

We have had our moments, especially when talking politics, but somewhere over the years, our relationship changed to more than good friends; we became soul sisters.

A few years ago, Brenda’s husband Bob began to show signs of early onset Alzheimer’s. It has been a sad and devastating journey for my friend, but like everything in life, she has faced it head on with courage, truth, and grace. There’s that word again.

She has turned her experience into a lifetime lesson for her high school seniors, sharing stories about Bob and his days in the San Francisco newspaper business, his military service and now, how he lives with Alzheimer’s.

Recently Bob was hospitalized, and Brenda had to take time off work—something she loathes to do.

Other than taking time off 15 years ago when her sister was dying from breast cancer, I can’t think of any sick leave that Brenda has taken.

Countless students have visited her and Bob at the hospital. One group brought the cutest card—addressed to “Bob and Mrs. Taylor” signed with kind, caring and concerned notes to them.

The high school has so many wonderful kids, but here’s a story about one, “the high school senior.”

While waiting out one of Bob’s hospital tests, Brenda told me about a senior in this year’s graduating class, named Cody, who saw Brenda and Bob at the Camano Plaza Market one Sunday when they were having lunch. He approached them, sat down and started talking to them.

Brenda had wanted to do some grocery shopping, so Cody said, “You go ahead Mrs. Taylor. I’ll sit here with Bob,” and so Brenda went shopping, and Cody sat with Bob, sharing conversation with him. Bob still is a great conversationalist and a wonderful wit.

Monday morning, Cody walked into Brenda’s classroom, and handed her a crumpled-up piece of paper with his name and telephone number.

He said, “Mrs. Taylor, I only live a couple minutes from the plaza. When you bring Bob there and need to shop, just call me. I’ll come down and sit and talk with him. I mean it. You call me.”

By the time Brenda told me the end of the story, we were both crying.

O.K. So now you’ve heard about the two teachers, the husband, and the high school senior. Now, I’ve gotta get to the two mothers.

My mother, a resident at the Warm Beach Senior Community Health Care is cared for by many wonderful people there, but there is one woman in particular that my mother, my sister Penny and I have gotten to know and love—a nurse’s aide named Linda.

The devotion and care that Linda shows to my mother is just incredible-- and full of grace. There’s that word again.

My mother adores her. Linda hugs and kisses Mom, transfers her with such care, listens to Mom’s stories, combs her hair, brushes her teeth, and does so many things for her. My mom just “lights up” when she sees Linda and looks at her with such adoration. Linda goes so far beyond her job description — I just can’t even find the words to describe it.

Now back to the teacher, the husband, and the senior. At the end of her story about Cody, Brenda, knowing my mom lives at Warm Beach Senior Community, said, “Oh, by the way, Cody’s mom works at Warm Beach.”

My brain went “click.” I thought back to conversations with Linda about our children and the high school, and I knew one of her sons was named Cody. I said, “What’s his last name?”

Brenda said, “Landau.”

I said, “Oh my gosh. Linda is Cody’s mother!”

Mother’s Day was earlier this month, so I would like to wish a belated, but very heart-felt “Happy Mother’s Day” to Linda Landau for raising Cody, such a wonderful young man (and of course, for her care of my own mother)!

And I’d like to wish Cody a very happy graduation and special congratulations for being such an awesome young man. You might not have sunk the most baskets, made the most touchdowns, or gotten the highest grades, but you have scored where it most counts—with compassion and kindness—and, I just have to use that word again—grace. You have an awesome future awaiting you!

Life goes on for Brenda and Bob, and we still don’t know what their journey will be or when it will end. However, I know my friend will lock Cody Landau’s kindness in her heart for the rest of her life, as will I, along with my thanks and gratitude to Cody’s mother, Linda. What wonderful people they are.