Teaching speech

When I was a teacher, at times in my career I used to teach "speech." I loved teaching it because the kids' speeches were hilarious, informative and fun.

I also liked it because my high school speech teacher made a big difference in my life.

I was one of those kids who would rather take an "F" than give a speech; although, I usually mustered up the courage to get up in front of the class and do it.

One time I was crying myself to sleep worrying about a speech I had to give the next day when my dad came in my room and gave me a tablespoon of what I believe was Scotch whiskey!

I know parents today will be horrified at that, but it just makes me laugh and love Dad all the more for trying to help me.

I literally started crying in front of my eighth-grade class while giving a speech, but pulled myself together when a kid in the back was laughing at me. He made me angry because he seemed so cruel, and my anger helped me get through it.

When I spoke, my knees used to shake, my top lip would quiver, and I felt like I was having a heart attack.

My dad used to tell me, "Imagine them naked."

I still don't understand that, and really, it just made me all the more nervous.

When I got into high school, speech was a required class.

My speech teacher was very kind, but demanding, and he helped me get over my fears by working with me after school and assigning speech topics that helped me forget I was in front of the class.

I really enjoyed a demonstration speech where I taught the class how to make an origami box. I gave everyone in the class a piece of paper and had the students follow my directions.

It was fun, and, perhaps, helped lead to my teaching career.

I graduated in education with a double major in speech and English from the University of Washington, and lucked into a speech job during my first year of teaching.

Periodically at Stanwood High School, I was assigned a speech class or two, and those classes were so much fun.

I got to know the kids better, and discovered their interests, hopes, pet peeves and dreams.

The student speeches I remember most were the type I excelled at, the "demonstration speeches." I never knew what to expect. One highlight was when Greg Ovenell brought his dog to demonstrate dog training. His dog lifted his leg on Greg in the middle of the speech and I thought the class and I were going to split a gut laughing.

Greg was, needless to say, not happy.

Another hysterical one was when this kid brought his chainsaw to explain how to use it. Of course, a student today could never bring a chainsaw to school, but remember, this was during the age before school violence and we didn't even think twice about it.

I can't remember his name, but he spoke with a twang. He did a good job of explaining what a chainsaw can do, and he showed us how to keep it working properly. He oiled it and sharpened it and I was very impressed with his knowledge and his demeanor— that is until he began to start up the chainsaw.

I had no idea he planned to do that, even though I had his outline in front of me. As he started to pull the chain, I began to stand, and I only got the "n" sound out of the word, "No!"

I kept sputtering "nuh, nuh, nuh," as he pulled and pulled on the chord.

Then the funniest thing happened that was quite inappropriate and completely unexpected.

The kid stopped, looked out at the room with these big, incredulous eyes and blurted out, "The F___er (polite way to write the real word) won't start!"

I don't know if it was his look or being startled with his use of the "F" word," but the kids and I just burst into laughter while he finally got the thing started and the room turned blue with smoke as he lifted it in the air in triumph.

I had to dock him 10 points in "Word Choice" but he was absolutely thrilled with his Aand he was cool when I explained that a speaker would never utter a profanity during a speech.

The class, however, thought it was the best speech they had ever heard.

I've learned that life goes on whether you can be brave enough to speak in front of a group or not, but it can be empowering when you can. I've often found it ironic that a young girl petrified of public speaking made her living for 33 years speaking in front of five groups of people every day. Speech isn't taught as a formal class in school anymore. When English teachers have the time sometimes they incorporate it, sometimes not.

I think that's too bad. While nerve-wracking, learning to give a speech can give kids moments to shine and feel proud.

I'm certainly glad I got to take it. Have a great start to the school year everybody!

While this has nothing to do with speech, I want to encourage everyone to get a copy of "Plenty: Eating Locally on the 100 Mile Diet," by Alisa Smith and J.B. McKinnon, this year's Community Read book available at the library or the Snow Goose Bookstore. I'm going on the 100-mile diet this month and next month, I'll report back to you, as well as tell you about up-coming events for our community "read."